A Week of Covid and Reflection

So last week was kind of a wash. I didn't get to work out like I had planned - though I stuck to my diet! But my poor, sweet husband got Covid. For the first time in 2.5 years, he actually had Covid and it SUCKED. He was running HIGH, high fevers with intense chills and I just sat there helplessly, not knowing how to help him. It was awful. I was reminded, though I didn't need much reminding, how much I love that sweet, sweet man, and how God had given him to me because He knew exactly what I needed.

As Samuel went to bed one night, I settled in for my daily Bible reading. As it was, my reading for the week focused on Song of Songs. I went into the week knowing that I would be reading that book, but not that my husband would be getting sick. When I started to read through Song of Songs, I started to weep, for my husband, for myself, and for Jesus. How great a gift it is to be loved by Him. I was reminded that while my husband was so incredibly sick in our room, laying there shivering and me not letting him bundle up because it would only make it worse, that Jesus was with us and loving us and caring for us at the same time. There is a reason that Christ refers to the church as His bride. When you are married, you are wholly devoted to each other, the way a groom is devoted to his bride and a bride her groom. I love Samuel, and last week I was just reminded how desperately I love him, but I was also reminded how desperately Jesus loves me. He loved me so much that He went to the cross with my name written on one of His lashes and He died for me. I would have given anything to switch places with Samuel last week, to not watch him suffer as he was; but would I be able to do what Jesus did? Would I be willing to switch places with Him? To bear the sins of the whole world? To be completely honest, no, I don't think I would be able to do that. I'd like to think that yes, I am noble enough, but at the end of the day, the truth is none of us could do that. As I am growing in my faith, I am constantly reminded that I don't have to be perfect, because Jesus is; I don't have to know what my future holds, because Jesus does; and I don't have to have all the answers, because Jesus has all the answers.

Samuel is all better now, and I have fallen even more in love with him than before, if that's even possible! I am so thankful for the beautiful marriage that I have been blessed with and the most amazing man that I could ever dream of. I am truly blessed in this crazy life of mine, and thank God each day for all that he has given me.